Cousin Eddie Quotes from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
(after you click play, it should automatically skip to 2:32 where the Christmas Vacation quotes start!)
- If that thing had nine lives, he just spent ‘em all. Whoo!
- They had to replace my metal plate with a plastic one. Every time Catherine would rev up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.
- [Todd Chester stares in horror at Eddie draining the RV toilet into the sewer drain] Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!
- [walks in with a bound and gagged Mr. Shirley tied with a big red ribbon] Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas, Clark. [to Mr. Shirley] You about ready to do some kissing?
- Clark, I’d like to try to fumigate this here chair, it’s a good quality item. If you don’t mind my askin’, how much did she set you back?
- He’s cute ain’t he? Only problem is, he’s got a little bit a Mississippi leg hound in ‘im. If the mood catches him right, he’ll grab your leg and just go to town. You don’t want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it’s best to just let ‘im finish.
- Over here? Well this is nothin. But here, well if you dent this, my hair just isn’t gonna look right.
- ["After finding out that Clark is getting to be a member of the Jelly of the Month Club instead of getting his bonus"] Clark, thats the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
